Hello Bakersfield,
I had every intention of sending you the usual newsletter this week.
And if I really wanted to, I probably still could.
I could stay up late tonight. I could power through. I could tell myself that I’ve never missed a newsletter and that consistency means finding a way to get it done no matter what.
I sat with that option for longer than I probably should have.
But I’m not going to do it.
The reality is, this is our first year homeschooling. My husband is in school and currently away, which means I’m solo parenting for a stretch. I came into this week already behind after plans to get ahead over the weekend fell apart. On top of that, several of the systems I’ve been building behind the scenes for The Bakersfield Mom broke at exactly the wrong time.
And the reality is that I simply do not have the capacity to do all of those things well this week and put together the newsletter I want to send you.
That’s difficult for me to admit
I have a very big vision for The Bakersfield Mom.
I’m also a person who can see what something could become and immediately start trying to build the whole thing. I am ambitious. I know I’m capable. And sometimes those qualities make it very easy for me to confuse “I am capable of doing this” with “I have the capacity to do this right now.”
Those aren't the same thing.
A huge part of what I’m trying to build here is a different relationship with work.
I don’t want to build a successful business by recreating the exact kind of life I was trying to avoid: constantly working, constantly behind, constantly pushing through exhaustion because productivity is supposed to prove something about me.
I want meaningful work. I want to contribute financially to my family. I want to build something substantial and useful for Bakersfield families.
I also want to homeschool my son. I want to be present in my family. I want room in my life for our home and our relationships and the ordinary parts of being a person.
Those things are not obstacles standing between me and my work.
They are the reason I am building my work this way in the first place.
And I think there comes a point where talking about slow living, balance, motherhood, capacity, and building a life around your values has to become more than something you say.
Eventually, you have to make the uncomfortable choice that proves you mean it.
For me, this week, that means breaking my own streak.
Instead of spending tonight frantically assembling an events newsletter so I can say I got it done, I’m going to use the capacity I have to fix the first foundational thing that broke, get myself caught up, and rebuild from there.
Not because The Bakersfield Mom is slowing down.
Not because the newsletter is going anywhere.
And definitely not because I care any less about building this.
Actually, it’s because I care enough about what I’m building to not make exhaustion part of the business model.
I’m learning that sustainability sometimes looks less impressive than productivity.
Sometimes success is getting everything done.
And sometimes success is recognizing that you could push yourself harder—and deciding that the cost isn't worth it.
So there won't be a regular events newsletter this week.
But, there will be one in your inbox next week.
And, you can catch the updated events calendar this weekend on the website, here
And between now and then, I’m going to catch up, fix what needs fixing, and give myself enough room to build this in a way that can actually support the life I want to live—not consume it.
Thank you for being here while I figure out what building something meaningful, slowly and sustainably, actually looks like in real life.
See you next week.
Jess
The Bakersfield Mom
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